


Take My Hand

by boneswrites



Category: Station 19, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Concerned Grant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heart-to-Heart, Hospital, Hurt Travis, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene, Worried Grant, no recovery, s02e01, s02e01: No Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boneswrites/pseuds/boneswrites
Summary: Warning: Contains SpoilersA missing scene that takes place during the season two premiere. I was hoping for a scene of Travis waking up in the hospital and finding Grant at his bedside, but there was six week jump so I decided to write this.This story starts just a little before DeLuca updates Vic, Grant and Warren. Grant worrying, Travis waking up, and everything that follows. Travis and Grant have a heart-to-heart conversation.





	Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so in love with Travis/Grant. I hope my characterization is alright, especially Grant's. We haven’t seen him that much so I don’t know him that well yet, but I hope it’s not too far off. Also, I hope we see more of Grant during season two. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always greatly appreciated!

_“Hello?”_

_“Grant, it’s Warren.”_

_“Is everything okay?”_

_Warren lets out a shaky breath._

_“What happened? Is Travis okay?”_

_“You need to come to Grey Sloan Memorial.”_

_“How bad is it?”_

_“It’s…just get here.”_

_*****_

Sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, that phone conversation runs over and over in Grant’s head. Victoria Hughes, Travis's best friend, is sitting next to him, Ben Warren, another firefighter, on the other side. He’s tapping his foot against the floor, a gesture he unconsciously does when he’s nervous. 

He’s not just nervous, he’s terrified. 

Everything was good that morning, he and Travis were great, walking into the firehouse together. The ladies of the firehouse playfully teasing him and Travis. Then Bishop asked about her and Grant’s plans and Travis freaked out. Grant said what he needed to say, but he didn’t mean to walk away the way he did. He only realized that when he was two blocks away from the fire station. He had sighed, stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and continued walking. He’d talk to Travis later. It was best they both cooled down till then.

He didn’t hear from Travis for the rest of the day. Not unexpected, he thought. He knew Travis was busy at work, assumed there were a lot of calls. 

And he was right. Travis was busy with work. But it never crossed his mind for a second that at the end of the day, he’d be sitting in a room, waiting to hear if Travis made it through surgery.

There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to _scream_. But he couldn’t get anything passed his vocal chords. Not even when Victoria placed her hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. _You’re not alone._

“I can’t lose him,” Grant says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Victoria nods. “Neither can I.” 

They wait for another hour until Doctor Andrew DeLuca emerges from the ER to give them an update. Grant can’t really wrap his head around what the doctor said, too many words he isn’t familiar with, too much doctor-talk that sounds very complicated and increases his worry. But he can wrap his head around Warren’s words. Warren’s words aren’t complicated, but all they do is widen the hot, sinking pit in Grant’s stomach. 

Either Travis makes it through surgery with flying colors, or he doesn’t make it off the table at all. Grant claws at the fact that it’s not hopeless, that Travis has a chance, because DeLuca _can’t_ be telling them that Travis is already gone. That it’s over. Grant doesn’t care about the desperation echoing in his voice. 

_I know what it’s like, being with someone who could die in the line of duty any day; it’s not fair, I never wanna put someone else through that._

Grant pushes Travis’s words to the back of his mind, trying not to think of them. Travis had known this was a possibility, he knew it could come to this, and he tried to spare Grant the pain, the hurt he feels right now.

_We’re ways away from me being widowed,_ was Grant’s response. 

They aren’t married, so widowed wouldn’t be the right term in this situation, but still, Grant has this sickening feeling that he very much might lose Travis forever. 

He shakes his head, he wants more time with Travis, _needs_ more time with him, this can’t be the end. He’s envisioned them growing old together, holding each other for many years to come, this can’t be how they end. 

For Grant, all the dangers of being a firefighter were theoretical before, he tried not to think about them and was always grateful every single time he saw or heard from Travis. But now, the dangers are very much a reality, they’re _his_ reality. Grant wasn’t living under a rock, he knew what could happen, but he had prayed it wouldn’t happen to him.

He’s sitting on the other side of the room now, having wandered aimlessly in that direction after DeLuca talked to him, Victoria and Ben. He doesn’t remember sitting down, but he’s glad he did, because he isn’t sure how much longer his wobbly legs would have been able to support him.

He feels a headache starting to form right above his eyes, so he leans back and tries to relax. ‘Tries’ being the operative word. He lets his eyelids slide shut, still aware of everything happening around him, doctors and nurses passing by discussing different things, people shuffling around the waiting area, the constant tick of the clock’s hands as time passes by incredibly slow.

Grant doesn’t know when he drifted off, but he comes to someone gently shaking his shoulder. It takes a couple seconds for the blurriness in his vision to subside, and Victoria’s face becomes clear. 

She’s kneeling in front of him, and once she realizes Grant is looking at her, she nods her head to the side, towards DeLuca. 

Grant stomach drops even more, his face turning hot and he swallows down against his dry throat. Vic gets to her feet, Grant following her and they approach the doctor. Ben is already standing near Andrew. 

Grant can’t ready DeLuca’s face. He doesn’t know if this is just a doctor thing, them trying not to give out anything using their facial expressions or if the doctor’s face is actually telling them the worst. That Travis didn’t make it.

It feels like forever until DeLuca opens his mouth to speak. Grant hopes he can hear him over the harsh pounding of his own heart in his ears.

“He made it through.” 

Grant hears those words and he suddenly wants to cry. His eyes well up and he lets out a choppy breath, leaning forward and placing his hands on his knees to support himself. He feels someone’s arms go around his back, probably Vic’s. 

“He’s okay?” Grant hears her voice ask with a little tremble. 

“He’s okay,” DeLuca replies. “The next twenty-four hours are crucial but we’ll monitor him closely. It’s going to be a long recovery, but he’s strong and healthy.” 

“Can we see him?” Victoria asks.

Grant straightens his back, looking from Victoria to DeLuca.

“He’s in recovery right now, and we’ll move him to the ICU in a little while. He can have one visitor at a time, ten minutes max for each person,” DeLuca explains.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Grant whispers, clasping DeLuca’s shoulder.

DeLuca smiles. “I’ll come find you guys when we’re ready.”

Victoria turns to Grant and engulfs him in a tight hug, squeezing the breath out of his lungs but he doesn't care. He reciprocates, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in the crook of her neck. 

“He’s okay, Travis is okay,” Victoria says over and over again.

It’s not until Grant stops shaking does he even notice that he was in the first place. 

The rest of the team walk into the waiting area fifteen minutes later, minus Andy. 

“How is he?” Maya Bishop asks, her eyes wide with concern.

“He’s okay, he made it through surgery and they’re moving him to the ICU soon,” Warren replies.

They all seem to relax just a little bit, but their shoulder are still tense. 

“Can we see him?” Jack Gibson asks, he’s looking a little rough but he’s standing tall and straight, still catching his breath a little. 

“One person at a time, and not for long but yeah, they’ll let us know.”

It’s another hour until DeLuca returns, telling them Travis has been moved to the ICU and they can see him one person at a time.

Grant decides to go in last, mostly because he needs the time to wrap his head around all of what happened and to prepare himself for what he’s about to see.

But even if Grant had hours of preparation, he still wouldn’t be ready to witness Travis lying that hospital bed. 

Victoria stands next to Grant as he stands away from the sliding glass doors of Travis’s ICU room. He hesitates to step into the room, Vic places her hand on his shoulder and he turns to look at her, wearing a terrified look on his face. She gives him a small smile, her eyes glistening with unshed tears and nods her head. 

“He’s okay, and you need to see that he’s okay.”

Grant collects himself and takes a deep breath, and finally moves into view of the room.

What he sees past the glass doors isn’t okay. It isn’t okay at all.

He draws in another gulp of air and unevenly lets it out, taking one step into the room. His legs feel heavy, as if they were nailed to the floor. He focuses on Travis’s face, trying to ignore the lacerations and he finds himself standing at Travis’s bedside. 

For a second, he doesn't really know what to do. He quickly surveys the machines around the room, mostly focusing on the heart rate monitor, because it proves to Grant that Travis is okay, that’s he’s here, that he’s alive. It’s steady and constant, and Grant feels some of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. He just needs to see Travis’s eyes and hear his voice again. 

Travis looks small in the hospital bed, his face pale and Grant realizes how unlike Travis that is. Travis always stand proud, his eyes soft and warm, a comforting smile on his face. That’s the Travis Grant knows and is falling for, that’s the Travis Grant longs for and wants to hold again.

Grant turns towards the glass doors to find Victoria still standing there, leaning against the wall.

“Can I…can I touch him?” Grant asks.

“Yeah,” Victoria nods, giving him another small smile. 

Taking a deep breath, Grant wraps his hand around Travis’s, giving it a light squeeze and running his thumb over the firefighter’s knuckles.

“Hey Trav, it’s me, it’s Grant,” he whispers. “I’m here, everyone is here, and you’re okay. You’re not alone. I was scared, I was so scared when I was told what happened and I…” Grant sniffs. “I’m beyond grateful that you’re okay.”

Grant gently cups Travis’s cheek, careful not to disturb his breathing tube, and caresses Travis’s cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Grant promises. 

The room is silent save for the beeping of the heart monitor. 

It’s comforting. 

Then Grant has to leave.

“You should go home,” Victoria suggests. 

“I think I’ll stick around,” Grant replies.

“Grant…”

“Even if I go home, I won’t be able to relax, I’ll be thinking about all this and about Travis. It’s better if I stay here,” he explains. 

“They won’t let you sit with him tonight.” 

“I know, but at least I’ll still be able to see him from a distance,” Grant says. 

“Okay,” Victoria nods. “Come here,” she opens her arms.

Grant steps closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and feeling her return the gesture. 

“Get some rest,” Grant tells Victoria when they separate. “You’ve had a long day.”

She nods.

“I’ll call you if anything changes,” Grant promises.

“You better.”

*****

Victoria returns to the hospital as soon as visiting hours start. She gets to the ICU floor and looks around for Grant. He gets off the elevator a few minutes later.

“Vic,” Grant calls out as he approached her.

“Hey, I was looking for you,” Victoria give Grant a quick hug.

“I was getting coffee,” Grant raises his cup for emphasis. 

Victoria nods. “How did the night go?”

They start walking towards Travis’s room. “The nurses were in and out the entire night, keeping an eye on him. He’s okay.”

“Did you sleep at all?”  
“I managed to nap a little in the family room,” Grant takes a sip from his coffee. 

“Ah.”

“No work today?” He asks, pointing to Victoria’s civvies. 

“No,” she shakes her head. “Chief Ripley gave us the rest of the week off, since both Travis and Captain Herrera are both here.”

“How is doing?”

“He’s hanging in there, getting better, I passed by to see him before I left last night. He’s strong,” Victoria says. “The rest of the team will probably pass by later.”

“Good morning, guys,” DeLuca walks towards them.

“Morning,” Victoria replies. 

“Good morning,” Grant says.

“Let’s see how Travis is doing,” DeLuca steps into Travis’s room and stays in there for a few minutes, checking the monitors and entering information on his pad.

“How is he?” Grant asks when DeLuca steps back outside.

“He’s doing fine, Doctor Pierce will come check on him soon and we’ll be able to extubate him today and put him on a nasal cannula so he’ll be able to speak when he wakes up. Doctor Pierce will be able to say when he can be moved to a regular room,” DeLuca explains. 

“Do you have any idea when he’ll wake up?” Victoria asks.

“He should be waking up sometime today,” DeLuca answers. 

Grant breathes a sigh of relief. “That’s great to hear.”

It’s a little after one in the afternoon when Travis’s head starts moving slightly to the side. DeLuca let both Grant and Victoria stay with Travis.

“Vic, I think he’s waking up,” Grant says, moving to sit on the edge of his seat. “Travis?” 

Travis reacts to hear his name, his head moving faster now. 

Grant is now standing next to Travis’s bed, leaning forward a little and Victoria goes to ask for Doctor Pierce or DeLuca. Grant looks to the side to see what’s happening outside and he’s met by Travis’s eyes when he turns back.

For a moment while Travis was in surgery, Grant was convinced he’d never see these breathtaking eyes again.

Travis’s heart rate increases.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re in the hospital,” Grant holds Travis’s hand. 

Travis’s eyes start wandering around the room, the monitors, his eyes wide with panic.

“Look at me, Travis, look at me,” Grant says. “That’s it, that’s it. Don’t try to breathe, the ventilator is breathing for you. Try to relax, someone will be here soon.”

Travis fixes his eyes on Grant, weakly squeezing his hand.

DeLuca walks into the room about the same time Travis’s heart rate starts to go back to normal, Victoria on his heels.

“Trav,” she exhales. 

He looks at her, greeting her without words.

“Good to see you up, Travis,” DeLuca speaks. “How do you feel about taking the tube out?”

Travis nods.

“Lets get you to sit up straight,” DeLuca moves to press a button on the side of Travis’s bed, and the bed’s back starts to move upwards. Once Travis is sitting up, DeLuca spreads a small towel on his chest and starts to explain the process. “We’re going to suction around the tube and then I’m going to count to three and I’m going to pull the tube out. You’ll feel some discomfort but it will only last for a couple seconds until the tube is out. Don’t try to speak once the tube is out, you’ll breathe through an oxygen mask for a few minutes then we’ll remove it and insert a nasal cannula.”

Travis nods again.

Grant moves around the bed, still by Travis’s side. He offers the firefighter his hand and Travis takes it, holding onto it tightly. 

“Ready?” DeLuca asks Travis.

Travis nods another time.

DeLuca starts with the suction and when he’s confident, he starts to count. “Okay, one, two, three.” He steady pulls the tube out.

Travis’s hold on Grant’s hand tightens and once the tube it out, he goes into a harsh coughing fit, closing his eyes and leaning forward.

Grant’s automatically puts his free hand on Travis’s back, rubbing circles there. He looks at DeLuca with a worried expression.

“It’s fine, don't worry. Let it out, Travis.” Once the coughing reduces, DeLuca reaches for the oxygen mask and places it on Travis’s face. “Slow and steady breaths,” he instructs. 

Grant watches Travis’s face, his eyes going to the mask as it fogs and clears with each breath Travis draws in and lets out. 

“Good, your vitals are returning to normal,” DeLuca says. 

“You okay?” Grant asks.

Travis looks at him, already tired, but nods.

DeLuca removes the mask and replaces it with an oxygen cannula. “You’re all set, I’ll give you some time with these guys. If you need anything press the call button.”

“Thank you,” Victoria says.

DeLuca smiles and walks out, closing the glass door behind him.

“W—Water,” Travis croaks out, his voice rough. 

Grant lets go of Travis’s hand for a second and walks around the bed, finds a pitcher of water on the side table and pour some into a plastic cup with a straw. He guides the straw through Travis’s chapped lips. “Easy, slow sips.” 

Travis nudges his head when he’s done and Grant returns the cup on the side table. He pulls the chair closer to the bed and sits on it as Victoria does the same on the other side. 

“Hey,” Grant exhales, taking Travis’s hand into his own. 

“Hi,” Travis replies, giving Grant a small tired smile. Then he turns to Victoria, who has tears in her eyes. “Vic…”

“Can I…I know it’s too soon but can I hug you?” She asks with a hesitant tone.

Travis smiles again. “Yeah, you can.”

Victoria gets to her feet and very gently wraps her arms around Travis. She isn’t applying any pressure, careful of his fresh wounds, she’s barely touching him, but she can feel him, strong and present, so close to her. She closes her eyes and breaths in. 

“You’re okay.”

“I am,” Travis says. 

Victoria stays for another thirteen minutes, saying she’ll update the rest of the team as she gets ready to leave and gives Grant a quick hug. Soon, it’s just Travis, Grant and the beeping of the heart monitor in the room. 

A nurse comes in not long after Victoria leaves and tells the men she needs to check on Travis’s wound dressing. Grant gives her space and she tells them the dressing doesn’t need to be changed yet. 

Travis attempts to stifle a yawn but Grant catches it anyway. 

“You should get some rest,” Grant tells Travis. 

“But I want to stay awake because you’re here,” Travis replies.

Grant smiles. “I’ll still be here when you wake up, I promise.”

“Okay.” 

“Okay,” Grant lifts their joined hands to his lips and brushes a kiss on Travis’s knuckles.

Travis drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face. 

*****

Travis slowly opens his eyes some hours later, he’s still in pain but his body isn’t as strained anymore. He turns his head to the side and his eyes settles on Grant, going through a magazine. 

“Hey,” Travis whispers. 

Grant immediately looks up from the magazine and smiles. “Hi.” He puts the magazine away and leans forward, covering Travis’s hand with his own. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.”

“Ben passed by you were asleep, he wanted to check on you,” Grant says. 

Travis nods. “How did you find out?”

“Ben called me, I arrived right when they took you into surgery.”

“What did he tell you?”

“Vic said she was the one who found you, and you told me you work in pairs so I was confused, why were you alone? And then Ben says that he was with you, but he left you to get a victim out…that you told him to leave you…And I just…”

“Grant…”

“Why? You were seriously hurt and you told him to leave you…”

“He had to get the victim out…”

“But what about you? Why did you just…give up?”

“I didn’t. I…”

Grant stands up, letting go of Travis’s hand. “I’m sorry, you’re tired and you need sleep and rest. We should talk about this later. And I should go.”

“No, Grant. Come here, don’t leave, don’t leave like this. Not when you’re mad at me,” Travis pleads.

Grant returns to Travis’s bedside. “I’m not mad, I just…need to know why.” 

“It’s a firefighter’s duty, to save civilians…to save the life that can be saved,” Travis says.

“You thought you were going to die?”

“I knew how badly I was hurt…I knew…I knew I probably wasn’t going to make it. So I told Warren to save the life that could be saved. And…” Travis takes a shaky breath in. “I wanted to see Michael again.”

Travis’s late husband. 

Grant’s face softens. “Travis…”

“I know it was selfish of me, but in that moment…I thought about him, I thought about you. I didn’t want to leave you, but I longed to see him so much,” Travis tears up.

Grant holds onto Travis’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I know no one will ever be able to replace him, and I never want to take his place in your heart, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. It almost broke me, knowing that I might not see you again, might not hear your voice again.”

“I’m sorry, I never wanted you to feel anything like that, the pain…” Travis says.

“I don’t regret this, being with you, not for a second. I hate that this happened, I hate it so much. You’ve made my life better in so many ways and I intend to hold onto you for as long as you’ll let me,” Grant expresses.

“I’ll let you hold on for a very, very long time,” Travis smiles, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

Grant reaches out his free hand, cupping Travis’s cheek and wiping the tear with his thumb. 

Travis leans into Grant’s touch, a sense of peace washing over him. It feels right.

Grant then plants a kiss to Travis’s forehead. “We’ll get through this.”

“We will,” Travis agrees. 

They both lean in at the same time, sharing a soft, compassionate kiss. 

They have each other. 


End file.
